St: Petersburg Septbr. 30 1814
My best Friend
I had entirely left off writing under the idea that you would have been on your way home very shortly after writing your Letter of the 2d which I answer’d and sent to Dresden.
You appear to be under great anxiety about my discretion, and I am very uneasy likewise because every thing that you <
right> write me is know before your letters arrive not from your letters but from England and I am always in fear that you will think it owing to my fault as to the hint you give about speculations I really do not know what you mean or why you should have suggested such an idea I believe since I have known you I have never given you reason to imagine that < you> I would do any thing of the kind indeed I have ever been so cautious that I have never enjoy’d the trifling privileges which your situation entitled me to and which would < added> have added many comforts to my life.
Should this Letter reach and you should have to remain I wish you to me nothing whatever concerning the business and only to mention the time of your return when it is positively fixed.
Charles has again his Winter Cough, and I have a fluxion which makes me feel quite sick I shall move into Town in a few days as it both Snows and rains: and it begins to be very cold and disagreeable.
Should Mrs. Smith be with you give my love to her, and tell her how very sorrow I am that I urged them to leave Russia. when I read her letter I felt as if I had caused all her sufferings, but reflexion convinced that I could not have acted otherwise with propriety.
God Bless you and make you as happy as I wish you
L. C. Adams
MHi: Adams Papers.