Monticello Feb. 8. 26.
my Dear Jefferson
I duly recd your affectionate letter of the 3d and percieve there are greater doubts than I had apprehended whether the legislre will indulge me in my request to them. it is a part of my mortifin to percieve that I had so far overvalued myself as to have counted on it with too much confidence. I see in the failure of this hope a deadly blast of all peace of mind during my remaining days. you kindly encorage me to keep up my spirits. but oppressed with disease, debility, age, and embarrassed affairs, this is difficult. for myself I should not regard a prostration of fortune, but I am overwhelmed at the prospect of the situation in which I may leave my family. my daughter, the and her children, rendered as dear to me as if my own from having lived with them from their cradle, left in a comfortless situation hold up to me nothing but gloom, and I should care were to end with the line I am writing, were it not that in the unhappy state of mind which your fathers misfortunes have brought upon him I may yet be of some avail to the family. their affectionate devotion to me makes a willingness to ensure life a duty as long as it can be of any use to them. yourself particularly, I consider as the greatest of the Godsends granted me. without you what could I do under the difficulties now environing me. this has been produced fluctuations in the value of our money and the long continued depression of the farming . but for these I am confident my debts might be paid leaving me Monticello and the Bedford estate. but where there are no bidders property, hower great offers no resource for the payment of debts perhaps however have no right to complain, as these misfortunes have been held back for my last days when few remain to me. I duly acknolege that I have gone thro’ a long life with fewer circumstances of affliction than are the lot of most men. uninterrupted health, a competence for every reasonable want, usefulness to my fellow citizens their esteem a family which never by their given me a moment’s pain; and should this my last request be granted I close with a cloudless sun long and serene day of life. be assured that I have a just sense of the part you have contributed to this, and that I bear to you unmeasured affection.