Abigail Adams to John Adams
November 14 1779
Dearest of Friends
My habitation, how disconsolate it looks! My table I set down to it but cannot swallow my food. O Why was I born with so much Sensibility and why possessing it have I so often been call’d to struggle with it? I wish to see you again, was I sure you would not be gone, I could not withstand the temptation of comeing to town, tho my Heart would suffer over again the cruel torture of Seperation.
What a cordial to my dejected Spirits were the few lines last night received. And does your Heart forebode that we shall again be happy. My hopes and fears rise alternately. I cannot resign more than I do, unless life itself was called for.—My dear sons I can not think of them without a tear, little do they know the feelings of a Mothers Heart! May they be good and usefull as their Father then will they in some measure reward the anxiety of a Mother. My tenderest Love to them. Remember me also to Mr. Thaxter whose civilities and kindness I shall miss.
God almighty bless and protect my dearest Friend and in his own time restore him to the affectionate Bosom of
RC (Adams Papers); addressed: “To The Honble. John Adams Esqr. on Board the Frigate Sensible.” Cover bears a fine impression in red wax (now halved) of the Boylston family arms. JA is said to have inherited this seal from his mother, born Susanna Boylston (HA2, in Boston Athenaeum, Catalogue of JQA’s Books description begins Worthington C. Ford, ed., A Catalogue of the Books of John Quincy Adams Deposited in the Boston Athenaeum. With Notes on Books, Adams Seals and Book-Plates, by Henry Adams, Boston, 1938. description ends , p. 136; see illustration facing p. 135; and see passim for other uses of the Boylston arms by members of the Adams family).