Abigail Adams to John Adams
Janry. 26 1777
Tis a Great Grief to me that I know not how to write nor where to send to you. I know not of any conveyance. I risk this by Major R[ic]e who promisses to take what care he can to get it to you.
I have Received 3 Letters from you since you left me, 2 from H[artfor]d and one from D[edha]m. Tis a satisfaction to hear tho only by a line.
We are told the most dissagreable things by use become less so. I cannot say that I find the truth of the observation verified. I am sure no seperation was ever so painfull to me as the last. Many circumstances concur to make it so—the distance and the difficulty of communication, the Hazards which if not real, my immagination represents so, all conspire [to]1 make me anxious, as well as what I need not [. . .] mention.2
I wish to Hear often from you and when a conveniant opportunity offers let me know how you like your waiter. Many reports have been circulated since you went away concerning him none of which I regard as I find no proof to support them. One is that he is a deserted Regular, a Spy &c. I find tis all Suspicion or else told with a design to make me uneasy, but it has not that Effect.
The family are all well, and desire Pappa would write to them.—I rejoice in our late Successes. Heaven grant us a continuation of them.
Your M[othe]r desires to be rememberd to you.
I long to hear of your arrival and to get one Letter from B[altimor]e. The Situation will be new and afford me entertainment by an account of it. At all times remember in the tenderest manner her whose happiness depends upon your Welfare,
RC (Adams Papers); addressed in John Thaxter’s hand: “To The Honble: John Adams Esqr. at Baltimore in Maryland”; endorsed: “Portia. Jany. 26.”
1. Here and below, MS is torn by seal.
2. AA was pregnant. On the following 11 July she was delivered of a stillborn daughter. See various letters in June and July, below, especially John Thaxter to JA, 13 July, and AA to JA, 16 July. CFA omitted the present letter from his editions of his grandparents’ correspondence and, consistently and silently, all allusions to AA’s “Circumstances” in such of the following letters as he did include.